Vulnerable to the Quarter Life Crisis, the rationials demanded rational face reality
Tired of life, the head is exhausted and makes everything it feels heavy. Lejar guesswork The future, or question why it is in this condition. It is as if the world charges its expectations through anyone. No matter how the taste and despair of it. The world, and its contents, feels nothing more than a prison for the soul and body. The resultant of all the The crush is making such distressed up. Such feelings are already as mandatory lists that are unchecked in the millennial life problem now. Rational thinking and adjusting expectations may be one of the ways that can be practiced to loosen depression as well as the demands of life.
A quarter-century crisis or popularly known as the Life Crisis Quarter (QLC) is a condition of self-crisis experienced by a person when stepping in the age range of 20 – 30 years. Anxiety arises related to work, financial conditions, family, romance and other life issues. Individuals who experience QLC are usually in a condition of depression, frustration, or even feeling stuck in a condition of anxiety that is complicated, pinned and depressed.
This condition generally arises due to the paradox wanting to satisfy and fulfill the wishes of life but what is experienced and done in real feel not on the path towards the destination or has not reached the target is desirable. Liza Marielly Djaprie, a clinical psychologist explaining QLC can be caused by internal and external factors. Internal factors are caused by a situation within the self that has not found true identity and external factors in the form of an increasingly competitive atmosphere of peers as well as demands of modern-day environment that is also increasingly complex.
Reported from Mindbodygreen.com, as many as 6 out of 10 millennials have reportedly experienced QLC. The Guardian also stated in his research that 86 percent of millennials experienced the QLC which made him feel insecure, disappointed, lonely to depression. This figure is the highest compared to previous generations such as Generation X and Baby Boomers. For many millenials, this phase becomes a fairly agonizing moment. It seems haunted by the shadows of disappointment, loneliness, empty feelings and unfounded anxiety.
According to a survey from LinkedIn, the experience of this crisis is more experienced by women, namely 61%. There are various QLC trigger factors. A total of 57% were struggling to find a job that suited the passion, 57% suffered pressure due to yet to have a home, and 46% claimed to be depressed by not having a partner.
This demands further complete with the designation ' Sandwich Generation ' for millennials who have a financial burden on caring for their parents or other family members as well as taking care of their own financial needs and families. These conditions are also thought to be the reason why millennials are difficult to have a house, quickly shifting to work and acting without thinking than The previous generation according to Dr. Gail Saltz, psychiatrist and author of "The Power of Different: The Link Between Disorder and Genius ".
Dr. Oliver Robinson, researcher and lecturer of psychology from the University of Greenwich, said there are four phases in QLC, namely :
- First, feeling stuck in a situation, whether it's work, relationships or anything other.
- Secondly, it has thought and hope that changes may just happen.
- The next phase is a period of rebuilding a new life and the last one is a phase of strengthening a recent commitment to the interests, aspirations, and values that a person has held.
It’s All About Money
The shifting point of view from idealistic to pragmatic is also driven by the reality that demands more track. As the situation does not have money before graduating from college compared with the story of peers who already paid two digits and able to try the house take a hand in it. Family conditions also sometimes make millennials today feel the need to support financially.
But on the other hand, self-sacrifice is also a noteworthy thought. The dream of having a career in the field of passion, for example. Sometimes continuing to work in a perceived field is difficult to immediately deliver on established conditions. Moreover, if it is felt the ability still need to be sharpened if you want to succeed. Surely it takes more money to develop an interest and talent called that passion.
Sometimes there is a feeling of losing yourself after reviewing how far it is turning. The feeling of discouragement for months becomes a real symptom when it has to face ideals and reality.
According to Robert MacNaughton, the founder of Integral Center that handles personality development in Boulder, Colorado, there are two options that millennials can take to confront QLC. First, letting yourself be protracted in despair or the second, making QLC the right momentum to skyrocket yourself to the next level of life.
Life values and family issues
In addition to money problems, one's idealism can also be stunted by family expectations. Not infrequently the millennial several times conflicted with the elderly because of differences in viewpoints and options of action when confronting a case.
The crisis is triggered by self-desire voltage with family wishes. When this active millennial generation still wants to pursue a variety of targets outside of marriage, parents often urge to immediately build a household.
This aspect of marriage is often the source of the anxiety of people who experience QLC. In a survey conducted by Gumtree.com, 86% of the 1,100 respondents in the UK claimed to have been through QLC, and 32% of them have argued that there is a large presence to marry and have a maximum child at the age of 30 years.
Related pressures from parents, in the study of the QLC published in the journal Contemporary Family Therapy (2008) mentioned that there is a tendency that the achievement of young people affects the way their parents perceive their self-esteem. While parents hope to ensure happiness for their children, the child continues to seek access for their delight.
QLC triggers
If it is more deep, there are several factors that cause a person to fall in the crisis during the transition to maturity stage.
In comparison to the previous generations, millennials and subsequent generations were fortunate to be able to taste a variety of facilities or access that made life better, in terms of job opportunities, education, health access, security, and others. However, the various facilities and options of possibilities available can cause Millennials to thrive.
About the work, as Forbes written, the previous generation can see the goal of working primarily to earn money, while some millennials feel the job is something that must meet the needs of its acctualicity, should The thing that he likes or can fulfill his dreams.
Find money as a plural, a variety of employment available, but to get a job according to what should be fought according to millennials. This shifting expectation contributed to the millennial dissatisfaction in the world of career, disappointment, anxiety and end at the QLC.
When everything tends to be easy to come by, one thing is no longer felt special, the satisfaction of someone is more difficult to be fulfilled, so Atwood & Scholtz, author of the study about QLC. They make an analogy, if anyone can wear a Rolex watch and it is easy to come by, the status and pleasure of having a Rolex will diminish, even nothing.
Various options are also followed responsibilities that must be carried. Not everyone is able to accept it, especially if it is not yet mentally mature, but the age is already charged with the community to be responsible in terms of work and relationships. The gap between self-readiness and social expectations is what resulted in QLC.
QLC revolves around the identity of a person, such as what values are trusted, by what self-affiliated, what is the principle of life. How to form yourself and then show that identity is not separated from the rapidly growing technology today. This is why it is also a potential factor to trigger the QLC.
Control what to think
Amidst the excitement of reality, it is like looking for an oasis that is as pure as it is. Longing to live a comfortable living in the lake of calm, silent and unripthing is certainly present in the wishful. At this point, it focuses in firmly holding the principle that the key of a happy Sentosa life is to think rational and pragmatic to face reality.
It should be understood that there are some things that are in our control, while some others do not. Most of the unhappiness is caused by the thought that we can control those things, whereas in reality, we can't.
The real thing that can be controlled is very little. Not everything that happens to this self can be controlled including controlling what others say and do. In fact, we also cannot fully control the body itself, which may suddenly hurt or death that is suddenly approaching without care. The only thing that can really be present in the grasp of being controlled is how to manage self-perception about all the things that happen.
If thinking that something very bad has happened, then it is human if feelings of sadness, disappointment or anger are present encircles. Then if it suspects that something bad will happen. Fear may come to the approaching. All these emotions are a product of self-created assumptions and conjectures.
In fact, all these events are actually neutral. What might seem terrible to us, could be just insignificantly for someone else, or even greeted a rash of hotly by their other. The emotional response is the bluff of our sanity.
Good personal is those who have complete control over their emotions. Personal conscious that things happen nothing is absolute good or bad. This is a matter of how to look at it. The core paradox is that we have virtually no control over anything, but at the same time, we are also potentially fully controlling the happiness of ourselves.
Training the Mind
The leaders of the people such as the Prophet Muhammad SAW, Jesus Christ and Buddha who look peaceful as having no problem is precisely a figure who fully recognizes that life sometimes does become difficult.
Controlling self-mind is not something that can be done as easy as reversing your palm, especially if the emotion has taken over the steering wheel. Practical exercises are absolutely necessary in order to be able to implement it thoroughly in life. Many psychology experts recommend noting any things that make the feeling bad every day. By noting, reflecting and evaluating, making repairs becomes increasingly possible in the following days.
Marcus Aurelius, a Roman-era philosopher, has another strategy. Every morning, he reminds himself that he might face many people who are angry, stressed, impatient, and ungrateful throughout the day. In this way, it will tend to be cynical to anyone. However, on the other hand, he also sympathizes with the fact that none of those people did the annoying things deliberately. They, like all of us, are victims of an erroneous judgment of themselves. In this way, Aurelius managed to protect his mind and heart from being toxic that poisoned himself and his life.
Receive Statement
It is important to remind yourself of the position of this self relativity in a life. The realization that the world does not always spin on our grind alone. Aurelius regularly meditated on meditation, mirrored the breadth of the universe and studied the position of time stretching from the past into the future. He, in contemplative order, puts his short-term life into a broader context. So, it is very absurd to expect the universe to always be in accordance with our will.
If always expect the universe to give you whatever it wants, then do not grieve if it always gets disappointment. But if it is able to imparted anything given the universe, accepting and grateful it then life will certainly be easier and happier.
QLC from another perspective
It's natural to look at QLC as annoying and want to be quickly passed by. However, actually, there is a profit that can be gained if this crisis is present in life.
Atwood & Scholtz In his case argued that the feeling of missing direction or the taste of having no life purpose could be a person's starting point to conduct a pure and truth self-seeking identity. After evaluating the situation, determining honestly what is actually looking for and what is now capable of carrying a happy, can be a stepping stone that transforms life much better and happy though it is different With the will of the closest people.
Similar to Atwood & Scholtz, Caroline Beaton in her writing titled "Why Millenials Need Quarter Life Crisis" in Psychology Today stated that QLC can be a reminder for someone to keep fighting forward in his life. QLC is all about uncertainty, and from there, one can capture that there is no permanent thing in this world, including the crisis that is self-experienced.
Sometimes, QLC makes people want to keep running or fighting. However, the farther or faster people run away from the crisis, it will make the results more nil. An alternative action that can be done is to try to receive life at this time even though it has not been completely self-made.
Instead of wooing the frequencies with all the demands that exist, sculpt assumptions over things that happen to us and how to deal with them to be more useful and rational to do for a happier life. It is true that this problem could not be easy. However, if you continue to train yourself with perception and positive thoughts then facing QLC can be a right footing momentum to change the direction of life for the better. Because QLC is a necessity which is most likely to be faced by millennials, self-preparedness with how to deal with it is the most important thing of all.